Cool Kid

Every high school has its list of their cool kids for every batch.

He was one of the cool kids back then on the high school and she was the nerd girl.

His life was his music, her life was her book.

They knew each other's name, but never really talk to each other.

For him, she was off limit.

For her, she was dangerous.

He was a heart breaker.

She was vulnerable.

In silence,

they reach the conclusion that they're bad combination for each other.

Home

I miss you, she said over the phone, crying silently as she bit her lower lip.
I want you.

He can do nothing except listening to her, listening to her painful cry over the phone. He really wanted to hold her close, kissed her forehead and whispered on her ear, gave insurance to her, but he couldn't.

Distance separated them thousands miles away.

You'll come home, right? The question slipped from her lips sounded like a statement for herself, reminding herself that her loved one will come home soon. She kept on repeating those words between her sob, made him holding his breath as he listened to her.

I miss you so bad it hurts. I want you here with me, she said, then she cried harder.

Be okay, okay? she finally said that to him when she stopped crying.
I will. You too, okay? he asked her.
Okay, she replied with a soft voice, almost whispering.

Find Closure

There was a time when I was alone. I was wondering where the others were. There were joy and love before, also happiness, play along with me, and then when the time came, they went together with the time and left me alone. Time said he’ll come back, bringing closure with him, so I won’t feel sad and alone anymore.

So I was waiting. I was waiting for closure, and time said sometimes closure was hiding, and I tried my best to find him. Sometimes I saw him, but then he ran away again, hiding from me. I asked the time, why did closure do that?, and time smiled and told me that closure will eventually come and visit me.

Time told me to wait, so I did. I was waiting and waiting with time, but closure didn’t come along. The next day, pain came along with strength and stayed for some time. I didn’t mind having pain and strength with me, but I was still waiting for closure, wondering where he was.

Finally pain decided to go, but she left strength with me, told him to take care of me. I looked at time and he was just smiling, telling me to play with strength. I wasn’t really felt alone anymore, but I am still looked outside from the window, wondering when closure will come to visit me, but he never showed up, and I am tired of waiting.

One day, when I was reading with strength, someone knocked my door. I quickly jumped and opened the door; and I saw closure standing in front of the door with time, smiling at me. I gave closure a big smile, hugging him and let him embrace me. I looked at time and whispered, thank you, for asking me keep waiting for closure.

 Putri Astika

yellow rose

She held her phone, blankly staring at it.
She pursed her lips, holding herself not to react foolishly.

He, the one who said he doesn't want to lose her, left her.
He, the one who held her close to his chest, kissing her forehead and calmed her, pushed her away.
He, the one who said 'always', now cut off all the connection.

This one is for you, she said that as she picked a yellow rose and gave it to him on February 16th, the first time they talked to each other.
He looked at the rose and smiled, thank you, he said and drove her home.

He was the first one she gave a yellow rose on their first meeting.
It was the sign of hope, and trust, wishing the friendship will last forever, a sign that she valued him on her life.

Do you still remember the yellow rose I gave you? she whispered as she stared on her phone.

As she put her phone on her pocket, she prayed silently,
God, let the yellow rose remains yellow rose, if You let it happen.
Let this feeling fade away, show me the closure, if You want it happen.

Everything was beyond her control, she had no strength.

Those Hidden Tears

She wasn't lying when she said she wasn't crying at all.
She kept her smile, even though her heart scattered.

In fact, she really wanted to cry,
but she couldn't.

No one really knows what she felt,
what was it behind her smile.

Sometimes the thought of getting mad and destroy things came across her mind.
Sometimes all she wanted just let everything out, and let everything go.
Sometimes she just wanted to blame others for what she felt.

No one actually can see that she was broken.
No one can really felt the pain she felt.
She was scared, and guilty.
She was hopeless, and tired.
She was losing her focus.

And she realized one thing,
knelt down in praying,
talking to her creator,
where she could find peace.

Closure

She never thought it would be their last meal together.

Him, wearing his black t-shirt.
Her, wearing her gray sweater.

No words slipped from their lips.

He was silent.
She was confused.

Their favorite meal didn't feel the same.

Why do I feel I won't see you for quite a long time? She asked him when he drove her home.
He only gave her his smile, a bitter smile, and a shrugged.

I'll see you next time, he said.

There was no good-bye.
There was no ending.

By the time he left her, she felt some things were missing.

That Playlist

Early morning. She sat on the passenger seat hugging her teddy bear tightly as she drank her hot chocolate from her tumbler. She took a deep breath, glancing quietly at the man on the driver seat, driving quietly.

It took almost one hour to reach the destination, but there wasn't any conversation happened between them.

"These songs on early morning?" She asked when he picked her up.
He only shrugged, "I want to hear these songs."

"How are you?" she asked.
"I am good," he replied.

No conversation was made.

Then she fell asleep.

On their way home, it was still the same. The same playlist, the same song. It wasn't typical of her songs, but she ever listened to the playlist somewhere.

While wondering, she looked at the man who drove quietly, biting her lips so she won't say any word.
He didn't look at her even just a second, didn't even talk to her. She tried to make a conversation, but his respond was only one or two words.

Better than nothing, she told herself. She remembered she ever told him it made her happy simply just being with him, even there was no conversation happened. She hugged her teddy bear tighter and enjoyed the songs played.

After a while, she remembered this was the playlist played over and over again during their road trip with the others two months ago. Thanks for joining, he said after the trip, it was a blast. I was having a great time.

She smiled a little bit, enjoyed the songs played. She didn't mad or upset, she was just enjoy the silent moment, let the playlist talk on their behalf. Then she fell asleep, again, until they reached home.